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Resources

Training family, friends and ministry teams to reach out during unexpected unemployment:

Helping Others Cope With Job Loss

With layoffs and business failures so prevalent today, how should the church and we as individual Christians respond to people in our midst affected by these events? We recommend consideration of some or all of the following steps.

1. Stay in touch. Avoid the temptation to stay away from them. Like Job's friends before they opened their mouths, your mere presence strengthens that worker. If they are already a Christian, you are sharing their burden; if they aren't, you're also exhibiting a powerful testimony to the love of Christ in you.

2. Be present, but be as silent as possible. Resist the urge to offer advice, especially opinions about why this is happening to them. One Christian wrote these words, "Once when I lost my job, a Christian in the work force asked me what unconfessed sin in my life was causing God to do this to me." Clearly, sin carries consequences, but it is presumptuous at best for any of us to suggest a particular disaster is happening to someone because of sin. That was one of the mistakes Job's friends made, and it's an extremely common mistake made by Christians. Except in rare circumstances, it's difficult, if not impossible, to know why this is happening in a person's life. To pretend to know is at best foolishness, and at worst, sinful. The comfort of presence is damaged by a loose tongue. Be there, but be silent.

3. Meet physical needs as God instructs you. When someone loses their job, there often are real physical hardships which present themselves. Many times job loss catches people at times when they can least afford it, and alert Christians can find silent, tangible ways to reach out.

4. Pray, and make your prayers known. Nothing is more comforting than hearing someone tell you they are praying for you and your circumstances--and knowing they mean it. Don't just pray for people, let them know you are doing it. While this may seem to fly in the face of "praying in a closet", the reason you're doing this is to help them feel less isolated, and to encourage them by letting them know their needs are being presented to the King of Kings.

5. Avoid making judgments. You may think you know why this happened, and you may think you know the lessons that are to be learned, but unless you get a clear nudging from the Lord, you should keep your opinions to yourself. Even if asked! Your best answer to very nearly every question about the whys of a certain event are " don't know."

6. Finally, you must work to affirm the person without denying the reality of the situation. People know when they're being patronized, and they know when they're being truly affirmed. Be the affirmer.

Perhaps none of the advice is more important than a remembrance of the mistakes of Job's friends. They served best in their silent presence, and did the most harm when they sought to make assessments on their own about why this was happening to their friend.

12 Things Unemployed Workers Often Wish Others Knew

Isolation is only one of the many dangers of forced sabbaticals; being involuntarily out of work. Many times, though, that isolation inhibits the ability of the person out of work from describing the emotions they're experiencing. The result is often a deeper alienation, and even a resentment towards even those closest to us.

The longer a forced sabbatical continues, the more likely it is you will face these emotions. While not everyone goes through all these thoughts, feedback from hundreds of readers and others in forced sabbaticals confirms the validity of this list. (Please note: this list is not all-inclusive. Fear, for example, is very often a real part of unemployment.)

(HINT) Sometimes it's difficult to acknowledge certain of the following emotions. We've heard feedback from many of our readers that they've had good results by simply showing this list to those around them as a way of identifying some of the struggles they face.

1. I'm not good company, but I don't want to be by myself.

2. I'm feeling a little paranoid. I'm assuming people are talking about me behind my back.

3. I'm scared. I don't know what this means for my career and my family.

4. I'm embarrassed. Even if I shouldn't be, I am.

5. I'm feeling helpless. This is happening to me and I can't control or prevent it.

6. I'm hurting. Even if it's completely my fault, it still doesn't feel good to fail in front of other people.

7. I'm obsessed with the circumstance. I know it's probably not the end of the world, but it sure feels like it. And no, I don't want to be distracted.

8. I'm angry. Maybe even at God.

9. I'm lonely. Even when I'm not alone, this feels like it's only happening to me and no one understands.

10. I'm wishing this would go away.

11. I'm having trouble believing what's happening to me really matters to you.

12. I'm resentful that life is moving forward without my participation.

Remember, not everyone experiences all of the above, but if you're out of work for very long at all, just know that the emotional and spiritual struggles you face are not only unique to you; others are also likely facing them, or have faced them, and can help you sort through them in your journey back to work.